Comfort Zones
Familiarity. Family. Comfort. These words are rattling around in my head today as I consider some of the recent responses I've read to the C of C tag (see post below.) If you'd care to join in the train of thought, please see Whacking Brasco for some of my brothers' thoughts. The question that I'm considering is "How do we choose our community of faith?" and "What causes us to stay there, or to leave?"
The questions that were posed in the tag that pertain to this are "3 Reasons to stay in C of C" and "3 Reasons you would leave". And really, for the questions I'm considering, you can substitute any body of faith, not just C of C. A lot of responses as to the reason to stay, involve the first three words of this post, familiarity, family, and comfort. It is very true that community is a large part of any church, especially evident in the NT church, but my struggle and question is, is that what determines our choice and is that what determines why we stay? I know that a large percentage of people join a church because someone they know goes there. But, think back. Nothing could be more of an icon of family and familiarity than the Jewish community in the NT. But, believers in Jesus were called out of that comfortable and familiar environment to one that opened them up to criticism, persecution and rejection. Gentiles as well were called out.
I remember a conversation with my mom when I was in my argumentative teen years. I was arguing about the influence of family on what we believe and I told her that if she had been born in India and raised a Hindu, that is what she would believe. She denied it, emphatically, and said that somehow she would learn the truth, and change her religion. I don't know...maybe she would. But somehow, that question still plagues me. We've heard all the rhetoric about "you shouldn't inherit your faith" and that's absolutely true. But what about inheriting our church?
Do we stay where we've always stayed because of family or comfort? Or do we stay because we sense the Spirit of God is there and believe that body is searching diligently for God's way?
Are we all on equal footing since none of us have it all right? Is there any reason to be at this place or that place as long as we are seeking Jesus? Are feelings of familiarity, comfort and family adequate in choosing a community of faith? I don't know.
And what about the folks who have no religious background. If they begin to seek out a body of believers, what's their criteria? They have no family or familiarity to fall back on. Hopefully, it won't be marketing techniques that determine their choice. But what will?
I have far more questions than answers. Alas, I always seem to.
posted by pat @ 2:50 PM
2 Comments:
Scott,
Knowing you and your family, I know you are doing good where you are. One question I struggle with is, "Is leaving a body of believers the cowardly and/or easier way out, or is the higher road to stay and be a light where you are?" I guess that depends on the receptivity and effectiveness where you are. And, looking at your family of course and seeing if they are being helped or hindered by where you are. These questions have provoked some discussion with another friend of mine here, raised C of C. She also has these strange untaught lessons from her heritage, and doesn't know where they came from. It's weird. Was it the songs we sang? Was it passing remarks in sermons...misguided Sunday school teachers? I wish I knew. And I wonder if other bodies of believers have their own weird little set of untaught lessons. I hate to say it, but it's a little like subliminal messages (i.e brainwashing). In the meantime, remember what my kids have said...good grace-based parenting wins out.
Here's an interesting post and discussion you guys might want to check out: http://www.travisstanley.net/archives/20060214/god-told-me-to-stay/
There's a part of me that wants to say, sure, everyone inherits their faith tradition--that's part of the definition of tradition, after all: it's handed down to you. I find that natural and not at all bad. And a big part of my reason for sticking with CofC is simply that it is "home" in a way that transcends doctrine, theology and liturgical preference--which is why the reasons in my tag post for staying are all personal rather than theological.
I think that's adequate, provided that 1) you can see that God is working in the body you are a part of, and 2) there is some function you perform within that specific body. Is the CofC so cantankerous that it is no longer a body of Christ? I don't think it's that bad. Maybe we're a nearsighted, lame, arthritic and possibly senile body of Christ...but we're still a body... And is there a place for me to function in it? Well, this may be more highly debatable, but (allow a little hubris) I see myself like Socrates did: I am a gadfly.
I think it's a little different once one has seen that it's necessary to be called out of one body to another. Then, personal reasons drop out and all you have is theological/doctrinal/praxis. It's a strange and hard decision to make, choosing a spiritual home out of all the possible places to be. It's part of why Brent started blogging, because it is such an odd kind of decision to be faced with making. But it's still a matter of discerning whether God works through a body, and what part you can play in that.
For someone without any religious background or ties--I'd bet the one criterion that actually makes a difference is some sense of authenticity of community. Not how good is the worship, or what do these people believe vs. what those across the street in the other building believe. I think it probably comes down to: is it evident that these people really love each other, and do they love other people outside their little group?
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