Thoughts on the empty nest

It's finally here. That moment in time that you think about after your kids are born. The time when they have all have graduated from college and they are all married.

Our youngest, Emily, graduates from MTSU this coming Saturday with a degree in Interior Design. This has been a long haul for her. She apologizes for this sometimes, but Bruce and I don't mind. She started out with a Music Industry major of sorts, because she's our musical kid, but after a while, the cut-throat part of that industry made that pursuit lose its appeal. Changing majors just adds more time to the educational process. But much better to fiddle around and find out what you really like to do while you're in a position to do that, than get all qualified to do something you have no passion to do.

She's always had a great eye for design and color. She was our computer generation kid. The video game kid. The only one who had access to a VCR as a child. She cut her teeth on Dr. Who because she could watch episodes over and over. When I was little, I watched Opie, Ricky and Lucy, and the Beav. When she was little, she watched the Logopoligans, the Sontarans, and the Daleks.

It is a bit strange to find yourself as a couple again after kids. But Bruce and I didn't have much time together before our kids started coming. We're having that time now. It's fun. We like it. It's not that we don't miss our kids. We do. But there's something intensely satisfying about knowing that we did our job and our kids are involved in their own stories now. We know that there are things that we probably would have done differently, but actually, not too many. It is very satisfying to me at this point in my life, to look back and know that we took care of them ourselves. The good and the bad of their upbringing is our doing.

Our life with 3 girls was like a hugely successful sit-com. The characters very varied and very real. The life situations were sometimes tense. There was drama--much drama. There were crises. Would they make it until the next paycheck? Tune in next week and see. There was romance. Which boy would it be? Will the Dad scare them all off??

But every successful sit-com has its day. Now there are spin-offs. There are 3 more stories being told. Every bit as successful, just additional characters and new settings. The difference is that in real life, the original story goes on as well. It may not have the same kind of drama, but it's totally dramatic in its own way. The romance may be a bit different, but it's there none the less. And yes, the question about the paycheck remains the same.

So Saturday, when I watch Emily march across the stage and get that diploma, I won't just be thinking, "Thank goodnes, she's finally done.", instead there will be a myriad of thoughts swirling through my mind. I'll probably see a video clip in my head of her as a baby and all through childhood. I do that sort of thing. I'll see her being married and I'll see her as she is now. I might even fast-forward and see her as me. Sitting in an audience watching her child graduate. I'll probably cry.

It's a visual reminder of the passage of time., something we have no control over, but the essence of which, we have great responsibility for. I'm proud of Emily. I'm proud of Ally and Jen. I'm proud of their lives and the impact that they will have on others. Our stories don't really end. They are just continued and that makes me happy.