What day is it?

It's amazing when there is a new baby in the house, that even the sanest of adults lose all concept of time. We literally are marking our days by how many wet and poopy diapers we've changed. Consequently, we don't know whether it's Sunday or Monday. The smallest creature in the house certainly takes over in a big way.

In between the diaper changing, I've had some time to reflect on the experience we've all just come through. My job during labor and delivery was one of support and encouragement, although we had an excellent doula who was the primary support person. I was the photographer which I greatly enjoyed doing. I've come to realize that at this juncture in my life, what I really want to do, is to do exactly what I observed Maria (the doula) doing for Jennifer during labor and delivery. I want to be there to support and encourage. To bring a calmness to the whole affair. I want to become a certified doula. Along with that, I want to be certified to teach Lamaze classes.

I've been really wrestling lately with what comes next in my life. I have given up teaching, even though I considered myself a really good teacher. It's just too much for me now. But I love the teaching moment and have continued to teach in the church arena. But I really needed a direction to go in. I think now I've discovered that what I loved 30 years ago when I was a La Leche League leader, is what I still love now. I want to educate women in this powerful process of giving birth. I want to be present when new life comes into the world and feel the way I felt that Wednesday when I was priviledged to see Clare enter the world. I know that 30 years ago, the educated childbirth movement was just getting started. A push toward breastfeeding heralded by La Leche League was really taking off. I had hoped that things had improved in these areas and that women were making more informed decisions. And I do think it's better, but I still think the same need exists to inform. I'm really excited about pursuing this and contributing to this cause.

But more exciting than that, is my new granddaughter. There is something so pure and innocent about babies. I've missed that. A new person who is totally living in the moment, not worried about anything, but counting on the fact that her needs will be met. It reminds me that we should all strive to be that way in life. Living in the moment, trusting God to meet our needs and therefore not worrying. Thanks Clare for reminding me about this most basic lesson that God wants us to learn.